Have you ever met someone so wonderful that you couldn’t stop thinking about them? Maybe it was their eyes that drew you in Or maybe it was the way they walked, their smile, the amazing things they were doing in life, or maybe it was the way they made you feel special.
Maybe it’s all of the above and you are hooked! You were theirs for the taking and it felt…amazing! After dredging through the swamps of Tinder or meeting people who had red flags tattooed all over their forehead…some didn’t even try to appear sane, YOU found your unicorn and no one else mattered.
The chemistry between you was undeniable…at first. They made you smile and filled you with passion even when they were not around. Your time together felt like a dream and the love you made put all those freaky novels to shame.
And I guess I should’nt mention what happened when you were home alone thinking about your boo, wait! You got kids at home? I hoped you locked your bedroom door and prayed your child would give you an hour before they started knocking and the door knob starts groaning under the pressure of them trying to open the door. I’m going to rewind time **rewinding time**and give you that hour of peace so your mind could reflect on the passionate effect your Babe had on you, so you could send those naughty pictures and exchange kinky text. But ummm…I hope remembered to wash the love off your hands, please – and – thank you, before you touched your kids. It’s a minor inconvenience when your a parent but it didn’t take away from the fact that YOU finally found your unicorn.
In the midst of all that there were a few red flags. You both saw them, but you chopped them down because you really wanted to be together. The red flag isn’t always your boo, it’s you too, admit it! It could have been you a lot, but just like how you chopped down their red flags, they chopped down yours too because you both really wanted to make things work.
Let’s fast forward to where you crashed and burned. It took a few weeks or maybe a few years. The constant fighting and crying, inability to see each other’s point of view, feelings of anger, inadequacy, and insecurity that were fueled by your different communication styles, your different outlooks on life, your religious and political differences, the lies, the manipulation, and unresolved issues you both had before you met. All of those red flags you saw in the beginning and ignored because you felt you found someone special, seeing your situation go down in flames despite all that you hoped for HURT LIKE HELL!
As I said in the title, Everyone Ain’t for Everybody. No matter how nice they are or how good of a person they are, it doesn’t mean they are good FOR you and you will have to move on. Your heart will feel like it’s dragging behind you but remember…your situation was toxic and it won’t get better while your together. You know what sucks? It’s when you have the breakup from hell and the person you cared for gets their mind right and someone else reaps the reward! It freaking sucks! But you know what? That doesn’t have to be your focus because YOU could be that person that gets their mind right and you can find someone that is better suited for you.
Get YOURSELF together. Get YOUR mind right because YOU did play a part in how your relationship failed. Don’t worry about them and what they did, what did YOU do and what are YOU willing to do to better yourself. Understand that making yourself better takes constant mental work, it’s a lifestyle change. You have to get into the practice of managing yourself and take ownership of how you behave.
I don’t want this blog to be too long but I will share that I myself am going through this. I wrote and deleted this post several times because I was writing from a position of anger and blame, I then wrote from a position of pity and pettiness, and then I mentally stepped outside of myself and gave myself advice. Lol, is that weird? Yes, but it helped a whole lot. What did I tell myself?
Delete his texts. I did it quickly because my main method of communication is texting and if I see his name I WILL text with one more thing to say because I still yearn for him to understand me. It has been a few days and it hurts that he has yet to reach out. Men are usually better than women at not communicating because they internalize differently. Every time I get a notification my heart skips a beat but I’m good. I’m moving on with my life. There is someone better suited for me and that is what I continue to tell myself throughout the day and it helps.
I also remind myself that he is a great person, that is what attracted me to him. Whatever issues I had with him, I am a flawed person too and our flaws do no mesh well. I feel that one of the keys to a great relationship is to have compatible flaws and that was not the case for us. That’s OK and I wish the best for him.
Before I reunited with him I was in the process of researching a few business ideas and having him in my life threw me off my path like no other man could. I assume that’s why we did not work out, but listening to podcast helps me get my head back in the game. I highly recommend podcast because you can listen and receive knowledge no matter what you are doing and all you need are ear buds (headphones). Download a podcast app and check it out.
Well, I’m off to the gym. I hope you enjoyed my post. Subscribe and keep in touch. If you think my post can help someone, please share it.